Thursday, September 13, 2012
Prayer of a Tangled Necklace
This morning I wore a shirt that *required* me to wear this beautiful blue and purple gemstone necklace that I never get to wear. I found it tangled in the midst of several other necklaces. As I started to untangle it, I had a spiritual crisis of sorts.
My time was running low and I really really wanted this necklace. I half laughingly and half seriously said a prayer out loud "God, please help me get this necklace untangled!" As I worked, I went through a spiritual journey.
As I prayed this strange prayer, I started imagining God answering it. What an amazing blog post! I could write about how God answers prayers from His children, even over silly things. Then however, I started wondering if planning a blog post in advance about how God answers prayers might be testing God. Would God help me get my necklace untangled if I wanted to use the story for publicity? I switched my prayer to a prayer of repentance, but asked that God still help me untangle my necklace anyway, because it would look smashing with the shirt I was wearing.
As I continued to work, I thought about how prayer is kind of like a tangled necklace. We have all of these different reasons and motivations and they may or may not hinder us from getting to the purpose of prayer. But does that mean that praying successfully is like showing off a beautiful necklace? Perhaps I went to metaphorical with this.
I continue to untangle. This time my thoughts took a dreaded turn. I started to think about what it would mean if God did help me get this necklace untangled. It would be wonderful, but what does it say about God that He would help me untangle a necklace but not save my dying mother from cancer? I shuddered and kept working.
Do we pray for ourselves? Do we pray for God? Do unanswered prayers bring us faith or do answered prayers do that? Why does God answer some prayers and not others, especially answer prayers that are trivial and not the ones that change lives? Does God really care if I get this necklace untangled? If He does answer it, is He a trivial God?
I got the necklace untangled, but I think I know less about prayer then when I started.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Why I Keep Coming Back to Anglicanism
If I'm honest, I have to admit there are days when I feel like I don't love Jesus. If I wanted to be even more honest, I would admit that there are days when I don't even like Jesus very much. On those days, going to church can be like going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
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Thursday, September 13, 2012
Prayer of a Tangled Necklace
This morning I wore a shirt that *required* me to wear this beautiful blue and purple gemstone necklace that I never get to wear. I found it tangled in the midst of several other necklaces. As I started to untangle it, I had a spiritual crisis of sorts.
My time was running low and I really really wanted this necklace. I half laughingly and half seriously said a prayer out loud "God, please help me get this necklace untangled!" As I worked, I went through a spiritual journey.
As I prayed this strange prayer, I started imagining God answering it. What an amazing blog post! I could write about how God answers prayers from His children, even over silly things. Then however, I started wondering if planning a blog post in advance about how God answers prayers might be testing God. Would God help me get my necklace untangled if I wanted to use the story for publicity? I switched my prayer to a prayer of repentance, but asked that God still help me untangle my necklace anyway, because it would look smashing with the shirt I was wearing.
As I continued to work, I thought about how prayer is kind of like a tangled necklace. We have all of these different reasons and motivations and they may or may not hinder us from getting to the purpose of prayer. But does that mean that praying successfully is like showing off a beautiful necklace? Perhaps I went to metaphorical with this.
I continue to untangle. This time my thoughts took a dreaded turn. I started to think about what it would mean if God did help me get this necklace untangled. It would be wonderful, but what does it say about God that He would help me untangle a necklace but not save my dying mother from cancer? I shuddered and kept working.
Do we pray for ourselves? Do we pray for God? Do unanswered prayers bring us faith or do answered prayers do that? Why does God answer some prayers and not others, especially answer prayers that are trivial and not the ones that change lives? Does God really care if I get this necklace untangled? If He does answer it, is He a trivial God?
I got the necklace untangled, but I think I know less about prayer then when I started.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Why I Keep Coming Back to Anglicanism
If I'm honest, I have to admit there are days when I feel like I don't love Jesus. If I wanted to be even more honest, I would admit that there are days when I don't even like Jesus very much. On those days, going to church can be like going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
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