If I'm honest, I have to admit there are days when I feel like I don't love Jesus. If I wanted to be even more honest, I would admit that there are days when I don't even like Jesus very much. On those days, going to church can be like going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
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Sunday, September 2, 2012
Why I Keep Coming Back to Anglicanism
If I'm honest, I have to admit there are days when I feel like I don't love Jesus. If I wanted to be even more honest, I would admit that there are days when I don't even like Jesus very much. On those days, going to church can be like going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
I can only hope that you can commiserate, and that I am not the only Christian who feels this way sometimes. If you can admit to feeling this way, then you understand what I mean about going to church when your spiritual life is nil, flat, dead. It's excruciating.
I've been a part of Acts 29 churches for a while, and I want to be absolutely clear: I LOVE Acts 29 churches. The thing is though, sometimes I can't get as excited about Jesus as my arm-waving, "amen" shouting comrades. Sometimes, the words of the praise music is irritating, the prayers are dull, and the whole experience can grate on my nerves.
The problem is ME.
I am human. I don't love God perfectly. But the amazing thing about the Gospel is that Jesus loves me perfectly. Sometimes, I just go through periods when the emotion and that euphoric feeling isn't there. On those days, I need the Gospel even more.
The beauty of a liturgical service is that you say the same prayers, with the same people across the world over and over every Sunday. For example:
ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father; For thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, Forgive us all that is past; And grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee In newness of life, To the honour and glory of thy Name; Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
These words are true, the Gospel is true. Jesus rose from the grave bodily, and these facts don't change according to how I feel. I keep coming back to these liturgies throughout the week, reminding myself that even when I don't feel like these things are true, I say them anyway, because they are the ultimate truth.
I cling to the prayers in the Book of Common Prayer like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I say them even when I don't feel close to God. I say them throughout the week, even without meaning to, because after saying them for weeks and weeks on end, they simply stay in my head.
I need this kind of repetition that is Biblical and not dependent on my emotions. If I only worshiped when I felt close to Him, I would be a very sorry worshipper indeed. I cling to the truth on bad days, and revel in it on the good.
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