It's not Ok

A dear friend lost her mother today. She called to tell me and I knew what had happened before she said a word. This friend is a warrior, a trooper. She minimizes her pain out of habit and when she heard my shock and pain she started to say "It's ok" but stopped herself in the middle. She knew not to say it's ok. She knew she shouldn't because she had to be honest with her best friend. She didn't say it was ok.

And it's not ok. Every fiber of my being wanted to reach out to her, appear in person and yell, as loud as I could "It's NOT OK."

My cousin lost her father a few months ago. Her mother came to my shower, months after her husband's passing. I asked her how she was, and she held back her tears. It's hard she said. I knew that this event was supposed to be for me, but I wanted to tell her she could cry for him. It IS HARD I wanted to shout.

Death is not ok. It wasn't meant to be. The pain we feel, even if it's inevitable, is not ok. It's not supposed to be easy. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

God didn't make us for death. In the garden of Eden he meant for death to not exist. No one should ever know the loss of a loved one. No one should know what it's like to experience cancer, heart disease. mental disease. These things are not written into our being.

We experience death, so much pain and suffering, and our insides scream at what's happening. It's not because it's natural, it's because it's not what God intended us for. If you ever needed proof that this world is not our home, look upon death. 

God meant us for abounding life, pure and eternal. Sin entered the world. We learned, from our parents' knee, that death is a part of life. Oh, dear one, it's not. 

Death is not part of the original plan of God. God never wanted us to know the suffering of death. It is not ok, it is not easy, it was not part of what God had for us. 

God has a remedy, of course. He would never ask us to carry a burden that was too big for us. Yes, people die, against what he originally intended, but they live again. We will see those God has saved in heaven. 

It's a small conciliation, I know. Right now, it does seem that way.  Believe me, I know. But when we rail against death and people console us saying, "Death is a part of life" and that death should be embraced, I squirm. 

God watched his Son enter the world. He watched the lies told against him. He watched the brutality. This is NOT OK! This is not how it's supposed to be. I hurt for others, I hurt for myself. I wonder if I truly understand what it was like for God, to watch the son he sent, massacred at the cross. 

Fight against it. Fight against the feeling to make it right. It is so wrong. It was not how it's supposed to be. Everything in your being tells you that. This is wrong. Perhaps that feeling is a whisper from the other side. 

Turn your eyes on Jesus, who took death on the cross. Know that it's ok to say this isn't ok, and to hope for a true Eden, which will happen. Perhaps we feel so wronged at death because it is wrong. Death is not what was intended for us.